The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around…. Throughout history, “tender loving care” has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing.
Larry Dossey

Hello Beautiful Souls-Often times, I am guided in a particular direction as to the subject of my blog and I have learned to honor the direction I am pulled rather than what I think or what I planned to write about and this week proves to be no different. I started writing to follow up on last week’s topic of healing our bodies through meditation and the power of our delicious brains. I thought an outline of our lower three energy centers or chakras would be a good place to start. My thought process was to introduce these centers by describing that each represents its own physical, emotional and physiological state of being. As an example to explain how an energy center can be effected when it is out of balance, I described a story about a man losing his wife and while going through the natural grieving process he developed a horrific chest cold. Since illness and dis-ease are simply a lowering of frequency, a lowering of energy, it would make sense that this poor widower while taking a direct hit on his fourth energy center, the heart, he would also develop symptoms associated with a lowering of frequency in the area of this center, specifically in his chest. His body, being knocked out of balance because of his deep loss, allowed matter, germs from other people, places or things that he came into contact with on a daily basis to enter freely. And because his body was already stressed and therefore not in balance, the bad guys easily moved in and took up residence in his chest to wreak havoc in the neighborhood of his fourth energy center. But then I thought, because my focus would be on the first three energy centers I would need to come up with a different story to use as an example. It was getting late and I was tired so I decided to continue working on my blog the next evening, besides it was quite obvious to me that the heart had taken the lead and also taken over my idea.

I woke up the next morning and ran through my regular routines. I meditated, made lunches, fed our pets, made coffee, put in a load of laundry, loaded the dishwasher, drank my coffee, took a shower and got ready to leave for work. My dad lives on the same road as I do and I drive passed his house on my way to work every day. I glance towards his house that sits on top of the hill with a long lane leading up to it, (the one I hardly drive up anymore) and I say “Hi Dad,” as routinely as I perform all my other rituals. This morning as I said, “Hi,” I felt very sad all of a sudden. I had a physical reaction, there was a significant heaviness in my chest. I was incredibly sad about our circumstances and about our separation. I understand our roles that led to the outcome of our family challenges and eventual division and I’ve done so much work to establish a new relationship with my dad so why this heaviness.  “Why?” I had to ask myself. As I turned the corner to head west, the answer came as quickly as I had asked it.  I’m sad because I miss so many parts of what I was supposed to have. Probably what I miss most about my relationship with my dad is the ease, the comfort I used to feel in his presence and although there are parts I don’t miss, I don’t think I will ever feel that ease ever again. I miss joking and laughing with him. I miss how our sarcasm was in sync and together we would blurt out the same thoughts at the same time. I miss just sitting and not saying anything and knowing that was enough. I miss the sincerity in his “I love you’s.” I miss that he missed SO much of all of us. I miss us and everything that I had planned.

A lot has happened in the last several years and I have accepted that which I do have with my dad. I also know that the only reason we have any relationship at all is because I learned the importance of forgiveness. Not only being able to utter the words but to feel it deeply in my heart, I was able to truly forgive and it was important for me to ask for his forgiveness as well. It took me a long time, hours upon hours of understanding me and understanding him. The ability to let go of the hurt and pain allowed us to begin a new relationship and for that I am grateful. What we have now, between us, won’t ever be what is was, it is different in many ways and that is our collateral damage but I have come to terms with that too. Funny how my heart had taken over my morning just as it had the night before. Heart, you have my full attention.

I attended Wednesday night yoga class, one of my favorites, Yoga Nidra, also known as yogic sleep or sleep with awareness, Yoga Nidra is an ancient practice and is intended to induce full-body relaxation and a deep meditative state of consciousness.  Before the practice, you are reminded to not sleep, which can be difficult so I try very hard to remain aware and awake and often it is a challenge. This Nidra experience was very different. Almost immediately, I felt my mom’s presence and then I saw my mom. She looked as she did at my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary, with her long gray hair and big smile. She looked so peaceful and happy, there was an unfamiliar calm about her. Her pain and limitations of movement were gone and with ease she walked towards me and sat on the floor next to me. She gently picked up my head and placed it in her lap. She held my head and caressed my forehead while brushing my hair away from my face. As she stroked my hair, she bowed her head and said, “I miss your dad so much.” I could no longer hear what I was supposed to be doing in yoga, I was somewhere else and I was focused on the visit. Soon, another important mother figure joined us. I was a bit surprised by this visit. It was my dear friend’s mother who passed just a few months ago. She looked just as she had before she was afflicted with Alzheimer’s, just as I remember her, beautiful, vibrant and happy. She sat with my mom and I and she told me that she is fine and she wants me to tell her husband and her children thank you for their constant love and support and for the special care during her long illness. She was so happy with all the time they were able to spend together, and even though she couldn’t speak, she was aware of their presence and it filled her heart with love. Next, Mom Abels came to join us and something happened that moved me to tears. My mother-in-law smiled her angelic smile and quietly sat down in front of me. My mom took her hand and caressed my mother-in-law’s face and said, “Thank you for loving my daughter.”

I was so entranced by this emotional and unexpected visit. There was such an overwhelming connection of love and support at an extremely heightened state, I don’t think I will ever be able to adequately describe the amount of love that surrounds me during these visits. Having my mom back that night felt the same as when I was 17 and she comforted me after a (very brief) break up with the love of my life (my now husband). Seeing my friend’s mother reminded me of the important role she played in my young years, always open and welcoming, nurturing and gentle. She obviously needed to convey a message to her family and took a wonderfully peaceful time to share her thoughts with me. Looking back, I am not sure that my mom ever voiced her opinion about the close relationship I shared with my mother-in-law while she was alive but it means the world to me that she shared her gratitude for it now. Yoga Nidra was over. My visitors left as suddenly as they had arrived. I quietly rolled up my mat, thanked Julia for a beautiful class and left full of overwhelming peace and love. I seldom talk about my experience right away and I think that’s because I don’t want to stop the energy. I don’t want to lose the extreme feelings of love that settle into my heart after these visits from spirit. I want to hold onto it for as long as I can. This night had so much feminine, motherly nurturing energy, heart-filling energy.

Funny how my intention, my thoughts, although focused on writing about the first three energy centers, were pulled in the direction of the 4th center, the heart chakra. Perhaps I was in need of some fine tuning with an emphasis on opening and balancing my heart. The mystical cannot happen without an open heart. It must be open to allow all the energy from the lower three to travel up through the heart and continue through the top of the head, this is where the magic lives. The first chakra, the center responsible for my foundation and childhood memories opens up so I feel safe and fearless. The second center, the one that holds my passion and creativity, opens allowing me to express my authentic self without fear. Up through the third energy center, this is where my personal power and identity live, the warrior within. This center opens and I am self-confident and I have a strong sense of purpose. All of these special women in my life represent the positive attributes of the lower three energy centers for me and all have helped to shape and impact me in my youth.

I have learned to go where I am guided. It proves again and again to serve me well. My thoughts, my physical reaction to a heart-ache that started as I acknowledged how much I missed the old relationship with my dad. My mom visits and shares her message of missing my dad too and opens her heart by blessing the heart to heart relationship I shared with my mother-in-law. That was my mom’s way of telling me that she knows I needed Mom Abels. She was in my life to fill my heart with the missing pieces my mom wasn’t able to give me. I am surprised by a special visit of a dear friend’s mom. I will share her message with her family and I hope their hearts are filled with peace and comfort.

Pay attention to your body and your mind. By learning the importance of our energy centers and educating ourselves to become aware of the signs that are associated with blockages, we can work toward paying attention and opening each of them to create a beautifully balanced life. If our inside is balanced, our outside is balanced.

Open your heart to heal your heart. The messages we receive are always what we need, not necessarily what we want or expect. I received a heart healing with an unexpected message, powerful yet clear in its simplicity. I am grateful for the gifts and trust each is delivered in divine time.

DDBR-Micki xo

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