Make a List-Check it Twice

Hello Beautiful Souls- What a year 2020 has been. For many people, 2020 has brought its fair share of change. The impact of the Covid-19 pandemic, the death of George Floyd and the presidential election are just a few of the major events that have left us feeling emotionally rung out. With the stay at home order in place, social distancing and e-learning being the new normal, human beings have had to play tug-of-war with new rules effecting all of us on a very deep emotional level.

Sadly, some of us have had to say good-bye to loved ones without the luxury of experiencing what should be our last physical contact. No hugs, no kisses, no holding hands. Electronic devices hold our last interactions and bear witness to our last good-byes. Some have brought new life into the world and have had to navigate around quarantining loved ones to safely visit their precious bundle of joy. Grandmas and Grandpas, Aunts and Uncles, friends and loved ones have been asked to do what feels like the impossible. So many things we took for granted have been put under the microscope and have been rearranged for us.

The news media and social media are saturated daily with statistics and numbers and stories of death, as well as hope. Many shake their heads trying to make sense of it all. Many have found 2020, with all of its challenges, as an opportunity to embrace the changes to positively influence their lives. Small business owners, students, parents, front line workers, essential workers, the elderly and the very young continue to struggle and search for hope.

Mental health challenges are at an all-time high. We are learning to embrace these challenges and talk about them openly without shame or judgement. We are learning that everyone suffers. As individuals, we simply experience different degrees of suffering. We all have felt the impact of chemical, physical and emotional stressors. Stress lowers our immune system and its ability to fight off imbalance or dis-ease in our bodies.

An example of chemical stressors are represented by the toxins found in our environment. Pollution, food additives, pesticides, cleaning supplies, personal products and even medications contain chemicals that poison our body to one degree or another. Poor diet can also be an example of chemical stress because you don’t have the building blocks your body needs.

The most apparent type of physical stress is through an acute injury. An acute injury is an injury that has occurred as a result of a specific event. Pulling a muscle, slipping, fracturing a bone or dislocating your shoulder, are examples of an acute injury that constitutes physical stress. However, not all physical stress come in such obvious forms. The most common and under treated form of physical stress comes from a longstanding condition or overuse, both of which are also known as chronic stress. The accumulation of sitting with bad posture daily or conditions such as arthritis, create a stress on the body that can be just as harmful as any injury.

Psychological or emotional stress is the culmination of feelings associated with resentment, fear, frustration, sadness, anger, grief/bereavement, cognitive stress ( information overload) due to an accelerated sense of time, worry, guilt, shame, jealousy, resistance, attachments, criticism, self-loathing, unworkable perfectionism, anxiety and panic attacks. Emotional stress comes with many day to day responsibilities such as parenthood, caring for family members, divorce, paying the mortgage, taxes and 401k, just to name a few. Emotional stress involves all of our relationships and the responsibilities associated with them.

In my work as a certified holistic life coach and meditation instructor, it has become paramount for my clients to feel safe while comfortably sharing their stressors with me. Some perspective clients often ask for alternative options to addressing their specific well-being needs. Some are perfectly comfortable with an in-person, socially distanced, masked-mandated session. While others may prefer an on-line or a phone call option to address their well-being concerns. No matter what your individual choice is, I am available to work with you to design a healthy future customized to meet your personal needs.

Life coaching and meditation often work in tandem to realize personal triggers and invite much needed stillness and self-care into your daily routines. Meditation can offer its own set of challenges. I often hear my client’s state that they feel that they aren’t doing it right. I address these concerns by redirecting preconceived ideas about meditation. Anytime you invite stillness into your mind and body, you are doing it right. The challenges we often experience is the idea of shutting off our thoughts and emptying out our minds. This is an inconceivable reality for most, resulting in more stress. The type of guided meditation I teach is to engage in your thoughts and become very aware of them. To use your thoughts in a mindful and beneficial way to surrender and allow traveling to the unknown. You cannot design a desired life based on all of your knowns. Nothing new is happening if you are attached to everything you already know. We are conditioned over time to act and react in a way that we observed by the people, the teachers in our lives. All of these experiences become our programs. These programs run in the background and direct our behaviors at a subconscious level.

With the season of giving upon us, I would like to offer the following so that you can begin to be aware of your own triggers and behaviors associated with your triggers. Make a three column list. The first column will be the things that upset you, your triggers. The second column will be what you want in place of the feelings attached to upsetting behaviors, whether yours or others. The third column will be what you can let go of and what you want for yourself in your life. Instead of using very general ideas, I ask that you become very detailed in your description. For example, if your partner upsets you, be very detailed in your description of what upsets you. If you want to be happy, think about the things that will bring you happiness. The last column will be a list of the things that you can give up. The things that no longer serve you. For example, if you want to let go of worry, think about the things that you worry about that you have no control over. If you cannot control it, it is not yours to worry about or hold onto.  Make your list as the observer of your life. Let go of your judgement surrounding your experiences. As in both my meditation instruction and my coaching philosophies, I ask that you let go of your attachments to your everyday three-dimensional reality and become curious and creative. Your list will provide an insight to what is working for you in your life and what is not. As your coach, I am here as your personal cheerleader, your support and a thought-provoking mentor.

By simply being the observer in your life, you can let go of self-judgment. Ignite your curiosity and begin to create your desired future life. Your list should act as a “habit guide” for you. You can let go of a non- supporting habit with one that will benefit you and your health. Don’t wait for life to happen TO you, design a life that will happen FOR you. Invite a connection to an awareness to your thoughts, an awareness to your physical body and an awareness to your authentic spirit. Develop an intimate relationship with the real you. The real you that is a unique soul. Become aware of behaviors and patterns that are yours, that you developed based on your needs. Then become aware of the behaviors and patterns that you downloaded as an observed, learned behavior that actually belong to someone else. Some of those observed behaviors no longer serve you. Give yourself permission to let those behaviors and patterns go. They are not yours.

Be good to yourself and to others. We are all navigating through these difficult times to the best of our abilities. If you need to learn about new tools and techniques to assist you moving forward, please contact me.

I wish you all optimal health and wellness in 2021-Be well dear friends!

DDBR-Micki -xo

If you or someone you know would benefit from life coaching and/or meditation instruction, eGift cards are available NOW. What a loving gift to give yourself or someone you care about.

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